Getting Started

"Why am I doing this, this blog? Why am I writing my thoughts to be posted on some website for others to read? Will people even be interested in what I have to say?"

To anyone who may stumble upon this or if you're a friend of mine who I've directed this thing to, welcome. I recently spent a year overseas serving in the US Army. The experience was not new to me but a distinct difference between previous deployments and this one was that this time it was not by choice. You see when you sign a contract with the Army it's for a set period of time separated between active duty time and individual ready reserve time. The IRR is a period in which you remain on the Army's roster but you aren't obligated to actively participate in training or be affiliated with a particular organization, you're on stand-by.

I left active duty in the summer of 2007 and began my civilian job and life in Washington, DC. A year and a half later I received orders via a FedEx package stating that my services were needed. These particular services were to be assigned to an organization that was preparing to leave for Iraq and they were a bit short of personnel to fill certain positions. It's like when a school district has a list of substitute teachers and one of their full-time teachers needs to take extended leave, maternity leave for example, and they call on someone from their list to fill in. A distinct difference between these two circumstances is that the military doesn't give you a choice to turn down the offer. Official orders, ones with a Department of Defense letter head and some high level officer's signature, are law and failing to report for them are punishable under the the military's legal system.

Not wanting to have the possibility of being pulled over for some traffic violation and while the police officer checks all my credentials, that god awful time when they sit in their cruiser while you sit on the side of the road and people driving by stare and the red and blue lights from the cop car put a spotlight on your shame and embarrassment for all to see, an AWOL (absent without leave) marker pops up and then be hauled off to military prison, I reported as ordered for duty last Spring. I did enjoy my time serving in the active duty Army and my decision to leave was not out of anger, disappointment or spite. I felt like I had fulfilled my needs and interests, I was self satisfied with my service. I had realized that even though I enjoyed my time that I wasn't going to make it a career. Being a young man in his mid-20's, money in the bank and other career interests, I felt like it was the right time to move on and see what else out there.

Yes, the military makes violating your contract a punishable offense and the ramifications of not reporting could be severe, but I still like to think I would have reported otherwise. It's still something I wrestle with in my mind. It's like if you found a wallet in the mall that was filled with cash yet no credit cards or identification. Do you keep the wallet and justify it citing Child's Law of "Finders Keepers" or do you turn it over to security and feel a sense of pride that you did something you'd expect others to do if you had realized you lost your wallet at the mall? I can't be 100% with my answer to this, like I can't be 100% with my decision to fulfill my contractual obligation to the military.

I had just moved to a new city, a new job, a whole new way of life. I didn't know if this new life was going to be something long term but I was in the process of figuring it all out. Isn't that what were all suppose to do, fulfill The American Dream that was pushed upon many of us in school and at home? It's a simply stated yet complicated thing to execute. I had done my time in the Army, I had served in a combat zone, I did my job to the best of my ability, wasn't I deserving of the freedom to move on? Those orders put a stop to all of it, a gargantuan millionaire benefactor to some charitable organization rain check. I had to put my personal journey (I hate that expression by the way, sounds so pompous, but can't think of anything better) on the shelf, packed away my business suits and laced up my boots.

My thoughts about this particular situation are the subject of future posts, but the situation plays a significant part for this post "Getting Started". "Why am I doing this, this blog?", well I learned something about myself over the past year away from home, doing something that I was obligated to do but not wanting to do. Since I was a short term filler, a temp, I didn't get really close to anyone. I can remember temporary office assistants rotating through my civilian job's office. Sure your cordial and friendly with them but you don't get too close because they could be gone at any minute. Without getting into too much detail, I had a lot of time to myself, a lot of time to think. While in sense having the social door shut a creative door in my mind opened. I'll go into more detail later but this creative side had been locked away for quite some time. I began to put all these thoughts on paper, well digital paper, and I'm a bit proud of some of it.

This blog is a door stop, a piece of wood wedged into the door frame to keep it open. I get self satisfaction out of this, so the first question is answered. The last question, "Will anyone be interested in what I have to say?", has not been answered. So I'm "Getting Started" and we'll see.